Immigrant Voices Podcast Project

Milsy from the Dominican Republic

December 17, 2022 Deborah Season 4 Episode 29
Immigrant Voices Podcast Project
Milsy from the Dominican Republic
Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

Open to adventure and romance, at the age of 21, Milsy decided to leave the Dominican Republic to join her boyfriend in the United States. “Why not?” she said, and got her passport and visa. Within a year of her arrival, they married.

 When the relationship fell apart, Milsy was left to support herself and her daughter to start her life over again. Even though she had volunteered to help her Spanish-speaking community, she soon realized she needed paying work. And a better command of the English language. From house cleaner to floral arranger, to restaurant worker to teacher’s helper, her fluency grew as she balanced work, parenting, and her continued commitment as a volunteer.

 Now enrolled in college, Milsy is pursuing her dream of becoming a paraprofessional/teacher’s assistant. She’s gaining experience managing the childcare program for children of parents attending the adult ESOL program at the Gardner. 

 

 

 

Guest intro/00:39
Open to adventure and romance, at the age of 21, Milsy decided to leave the Dominican Republic to join her boyfriend in the United States. “Why not?” she said, and got her passport and visa. Within a year of her arrival, they married.
        When the relationship fell apart, Milsy was left to support herself and her daughter to start her life over again. Even though she had volunteered to help her Spanish-speaking community, she soon realized she needed paying work. And a better command of the English language. From house cleaner to floral arranger, to restaurant worker to teacher’s helper, her fluency grew as she balanced work, parenting, and her continued commitment as a volunteer.
         Now enrolled in college, Milsy is pursuing her dream of becoming a paraprofessional/teacher’s assistant. She’s gaining experience managing the childcare program for children of parents attending the adult ESOL program at the Gardner. 

Coming to the states/02:02
Deborah: So my guest tonight is Milsy from the Dominican Republic. Welcome Milsy. 

Milsy: Thank you for having me here today. 

Deborah: Can you tell us a little bit about what brought you to the United States back in 1997? 

Milsy: I come to the United States because I met this man in my country, my ex-husband. I was in love with him. He told me one day, “How about if you come to live with me here in the United States?” And I say, “Sure!” I don’t have nothing to lose. So, and then I come to United States to live with him and his mom. Then I was married with him for about three years and then something happened. I decide it wasn’t the best for me and I said no, I deserve more. Then I start to work with the Latin community. I start to work with them like do volunteer. And I love it and I start to say, “Hmm, maybe I can do this” because at that time I can’t work because I don’t have documentation. And was really I feel like really a struggle at the same time because I can work, I can do like that much. And with the English that was really tough for me because I tried to communicate. I want people to know what I can do to help the community and how I can help a little bit more. But at that time was difficult. I tried to start helping my community at the same time try to go to the English class. So that was really difficult because then I had to start to work to make some money to pay my rent and all this stuff we had to do. Everyone has to do, pay bills and rent and all of that. 

Serving the Immigrant Community/03:45
Deborah: What sort of things did you do for your community? What kinds of work did you do when you were volunteering? 

Milsy: I remember this person she was from Spain. I start working with her. She was working with the single mom. So when they go back home we go and visit them. Welcome the baby and welcome the new member of the family. She start taking notes about what did they need and she provided resource. Sometime we bring some food from the food pantry for that family who need it and some clothes and stuff like that. Mark my life forever. So for me that was a really work in my community around where I live, because from that day it’s something like that. Mark my life forever. I want to do something for my community because I received so much from my community. Then they close that program for some reasons, and from there they start to help me with my immigration status. At the same time, I tried to continue at a school to learn English. Was really difficult because then I have my daughter when I have 26 years old. I have my daughter and I was a single mom was a little bit difficult. I think I’m not the first one or the last one with that difficult situation. But I try to pushing myself. I was in three different school, they have English class at nighttime. Summer school around the neighborhood. I was living at that time and I try but all of the time when I start, I still in the program for about three months, four months, and then I have to get out the program because I have something else to do or situation with my daughter or I found a job in the nighttime, so when I have to provide and I have to go to work in order to get the money. Pay what I have to pay that I always when I found the opportunity, subscribe myself in some English class and try to learn more. And I remember when I came to this country, one American man, he was friends with my ex-husband, a really good friend. He tell me, “Let me tell you something. If you wanna learn English in this country, please don’t spend that much time with your people. Spend more time talking and listen to the American people.” And I said, “Hmm, why?” He said, “Because that way you will learn more.” And he said, “Don’t watch the news in your language. Watch the news in English. That was helping you a lot.” And I really appreciate what he tell me that day. I always remember him and what did he tell me that day.

Learning English/06:47
Deborah: I was thinking that you said you started out helping your community, so you were speaking Spanish the whole time you were doing that. So that was good advice from him. How did you balance? Did you still do a little bit of volunteer work in your community while you were learning English more aggressively? 

Milsy: Right now I don’t take the English class, but I try to go back to take more English class because I need it in order to communicate and express in myself and help another in my community. I have to learn more and it is never late to learn. So, I’m in college at the same time, try to be a teacher assistant. I like to work with kids. I like to help them. I like to help the family. And yes, I still in my community, helping my community around where I live and where I work. I try always to help the one who need it.

Odd Jobs  to Make Ends Meet/07:46
Deborah: So what’s your work history from the time you started working in the United States before your English was as good as it is now? 

Milsy: Well, I was working in a part-time cleaning, cleaning office at that time. I remember my ex-husband found that job for me. I work in that place for about two years. Then I started working in this factory. They work with flowers making nice, beautiful bouquet. So I work in that factory too. I was loving that job because for me I like to create. That was like amazing for me. Every single day was different and I do something different every day in that job. From there I start to work I remember in this company, I work with them in the Fenway Park. From there I jump to work in in a restaurant for about a year. And then from there I stopped working for a little bit because I was in a difficult situation with my daughter. She was needing me a lot of my time. And they had to call me from another school she was first. They had to call me almost every single day. And I had to stop working for a little bit and pay attention to her and work with her and make sure she was okay. Make sure she get the support she need at that time. And then I wasn’t working for three years or two years and a half something like that. And then I found the last one, the one I continue in that same school.

Deborah: Are you a teacher’s assistant? 

Milsy: Right now I work like a lunch monitor, recess monitor, and I do bus monitor for that school too. But in my free time I was doing volunteer in the class working with the teacher because I like to do volunteer. For me when you receive so much for many people around you, you have to give something back. And for me, that’s the way I give something back to them from how much they helping me and how much they doing for me, and how much they helping me with everything around me or with my daughter and all of other stuff.

Family Comes  First/10:06
Deborah: How did you make ends meet when you had to stop working to care for your daughter?

Milsy: So at that time I remember I had to apply for some help from the system. And then I said, no, this is not me. I don’t like this. My father teach me and my brothers to work really hard every single day. We start working with my father when we have nine years old. Because he have business. He want everyone to learn how to take care of the business. We have the family. So, I remember taking administration classes in my country because I was working with him in his office in his business. And I remember my father always say, “You don’t have to wait for nobody to give it to you what do you need. You have to work for that. You have to do something about it.” And I started to sell. I know how to cook. I love to cook. So I started to make food and sell that food and make some extra money so that way I can help my family and do a little bit more for me and my child. 

Deborah: Were you cooking professionally in the Dominican Republic or is that something you did here in the States? 

Milsy: Something that I did here in the States because in my country I don’t have to do nothing. In my country, when I come to this country. It’s not because I don’t have nothing over there or I have this difficult situation. At that time when I met my ex-husband, I was independent. I have my 20, 21 years old. I wasn’t living with my father anymore. I remember I have a job at that time when I met my ex-husband and I have a really good job over there. But that’s what I say. I don’t have nothing to lose when he asked me to come over here and live here with him, and I said, “Yes, but we have to get married in one year because I don’t like to live like that because my father always tell me, you have to be married. You have to be married to live with that guy.”

Deborah: When we were talking earlier, you said something about a farm. Was your father’s business a farm?

Milsy: No, my father have a business in the city. He sell trucks, big, huge trucks. So out the city, he have a farm, is a really huge farm because he love that. He have some animals. He have fruits, vegetables, and everything because he don’t like nothing from the city. He bring everything from the farm every week to the country, or two times a week to our house so that way he makes sure we eat something healthy all the time.

Pain of Leaving Family Behind in Dominican Republic/12:44
Deborah: What was the hardest thing about coming here at the age of 21? And it sounds like that’s when you came and you had your first child at 26. 

Milsy: My first and my last one. The hard part about to come to the United States is to leave my family. I was really close with my family. We are really close with my family, my brothers and sister. This is a really huge family, so that was really hard. Don’t have my mom talk to her every single day or my father. I continued talking to him and not that much because different. It’s difficult now, and the most difficult time is when I be with no documentation here and I can’t go to visit my family. That was devastating for me. Don’t be available to go back and visit them and say, “Hi I am here.” Be there to say “Happy Father’s Day” or “Happy Mother’s Day” to my mom. That was really difficult for me. 

Deborah: And when did that start to change? 

Milsy: I think when we come to the United States, we change a lot. Situation, everything change. I don’t wanna tell them all this stuff. I’m going in this country. I was going through a lot of difficult time. I don’t wanna tell them everything because at that time, I feel like if I tell them, they would be concerned about me, they would be “Oh, how can I help her? What can I do now?” They were thinking that way. And I don’t want them to feel pain for me. And at the same time, I feel like okay, I need to grow up. I need to be a real woman. And I have to figure it out how to live, how to continue my life and be successful in what I want to do or where I want to go.

Finally Getting a Resident Card/14:35
Deborah: How did the status change over the years? You said at that time you couldn’t visit your family, but that’s changed now, right? 

Milsy: Yeah, yeah. Thanks God that changed long time ago. 

Deborah: What were the steps from not being documented to finally being able to travel and visit them? 

Milsy: That time was really difficult for me. That was the most difficult time in my life. I tried really hard. You remember I say before I was working with this organization like helping the community. So when they close that place someone from the people who pay them like to help in the community. They say, “Who needs some help here with immigration?” And I say, “Me!” I raised my hands and I say, “Me!” And I remember this man, oh my God, he is a teacher in Harvard University. He teaching in the immigration area. So, oh my God, he was the best. He’s helped me in all this. He’s working with me for two years and a half. That was so difficult for me, and I asking him every single day “When can I have my documentation, when tell me?” he say, “We don’t know but we have to present all of the information they asking for.” And I say, “Okay.” So I remember going to my therapy and take all of the information he want from them and for the people. I was living at that time and I was so happy when one day he called me, he say, “We have your resident card here. Come and get it!” 

Deborah: Must have been a day to celebrate. 

Milsy: Mm-hmm. Yep. Definitely. 

Deborah: That enabled you to go back to the Dominican Republic. Did you travel back there? 

Milsy: Yes, but not right away. It’s taken me like three, no four years later. I go for my daughter, visit my family. My father met my daughter when she was three years old. He come to visit us in Boston and yes he was the first one met my daughter and then when I bring her over there  everyone was so happy. Yes. And she was so happy. Me too. 

Deborah: How old is your daughter now? 

Milsy: She’s 20 years old.

Deborah: Whoa! 

Milsy: And I have a grandchild already, two years old. 

Getting Close to the Dream Job/17:02
Deborah: That’s wonderful. That’s wonderful. Wow. So can you describe a little bit what you do for work now?

Milsy: Right now I work in the school system. I work in the office. That school for now. I’m waiting for another position, but I love what I’m doing. I work with Michelle too. I am supporting in the nighttime for ESL class for the parents who take the class. I take care of  the children for the parents so they can go and take the class and all of that. So that’s what I’m doing right now. And at the same time, I’m in college and I’m trying to take another class. 

Deborah: When did you decide to go to college?

Milsy: I decide to go to college when I see my daughter is getting big enough and she don’t have that situation anymore. She have all of the support she needs, and as soon I feel like she’s ready, she can walk by herself, I said, “This is my time now.” And I remember my father saying never is late. 

Deborah: Never too late. 

Milsy: Never too late. Yeah, never too late.

Living with Plants/18:08
Deborah: Tell me about your passion for plants. I can see that gorgeous aloe plant behind you. Talk a little bit about that and any other hobbies that you have.

Milsy: I love plants because when I say my father have a farm we growing like around a lot of plants in my country and the city we have plants everywhere. Like it’s something typical in the Caribbean to have plants and learn how to take care of them. But for me, the plant I have in my house, all of them have to be like medicine plant or help me with something. Like I have plantain plant. I have lemon plant in my house. I have oregano plant and that’s the plant I have in my house. And I learned how to make soap because my daughter her skin is really sensitive, and I learned how to make soap with no chemical. So I learned how to make my own body scrub. How to make some lip balm. 

Deborah: Have you thought about turning that into a business? 

Milsy: That’s what I’m doing.

Deborah: In addition to working, you’re thinking about being an entrepreneur? 

Milsy: Yes. One step at a time. 

Deborah: Well, you’re learning how to do all those things like making soap and lip balm and the aloe plant. How do you use that? 

Milsy: Aloe plant is really good for your skin. I use it in the soap. It depend what do you need, what type of skin you have because when I make my soap for my friends when they ask me, “Oh, can you make this soap?” So I tell to them and I say, “Okay. Exactly why do you need that soap? Is it for your face? Do you have some skin condition?” So when they tell me what it they need? So I make this soap and base what they need that’s how I make my soap. Everything have to be organic with fresh plant or with everything I use is organic and fresh. I don’t like product with chemicals because that is not good for the skin. It’s not good for your health, and that’s how I do it.

Deborah: Looking at your beautiful hair I just wonder if you use any of the products you make on your hair. 

Milsy: Once a week I use the aloe plant in my hair. That is really good for your hair. Your hair is more shiny. It’s more soft most of the time when you use the aloe plant. You just have to peel, blend it, and use it in your hair, and leave it in your hair for about maybe 20 minutes or maybe 10, 15 minutes. 

Deborah: And then you just rinse it out. 

Milsy: And wash my hair normally with my shampoo and conditioner.

Deborah: So, Milsy, do you have anything that you brought with you from the Dominican Republic that you’ll always keep with you? Maybe some little thing that you keep in your pocketbook or just you’ve always kept with you? 

Milsy: I remember the only thing I keep it with me is my family pictures—my brothers, my sisters, my father, my mom. That’s the only thing because I start to remember what I bring with me then I still have him with me and it’s my family pictures.

Obstacle of the Missing Documents/21:19
Deborah: Your trip from the Dominican Republic to cross the border since you weren’t documented when you came, was that difficult to join your boyfriend? What was that like? 

Milsy: When I come to United States, I have my passport, my visa. So I came to United States legally. The thing is when I come to United States, I lose my visa and my passport, I lose my documentation and I have to stay here because my ex-husband and me we talk about to do everything legal. I come to United States, visit him, leaving him with him here, but I have to go back to Dominican Republic and come back like every three or four months to be like that, and then to get married and then to leave with him here when he submit all of the petition and all of that. But everything disappeared one day. I don’t know how. And that’s why I have to stay here with no documentation and I can do nothing. I can’t go back. I can absolute nothing. 

Deborah: You mean everything was lost, your passport, everything, it just disappeared?

Milsy: I don’t know how. I continue asking that question, how that happened?

Deborah: That must have been a big setback, but you overcame it. 

Milsy: That was really difficult. Very difficult. 

Future Dreams/22:43
Deborah: What are some of your dreams about the future Milsy? 

Milsy: To be a teacher assistant, to work in the class. Take care the kids. Helping the family, and to buy my house, one day to buy my house.

Advice/22:57
Deborah: If somebody came to you, another immigrant asking for advice about something, maybe that you wish you had done and you could say to them, “Learn from my experience, I wish I had done X,”  what kind of advice would you give to them about based on your experience and also your observation of your whole adjustment to your new life in the United States and becoming a single parent and succeeding the way you have to make a life for yourself and your daughter? 

Milsy: First of all, I would tell them to never, never stop learning English. Never think they can do nothing because they don’t know English. Never stop dreaming, because if you have dream, you can go really far. But if you don’t have dream, if you don’t have that is your motivation your dreams, and you have to believe on them and believe you can do it. Believe on yourself. Something that is really helping me a lot is the advice that man gave it to me that day when he met me. Like when he saying, “Never, never watch TV in your language. Watch the TV in English including when you don’t understand you were learning little by little.” 

Successes/24:20
Deborah: What do you feel is your biggest success since you’ve been here? 

Milsy: Be working in the school system. Be able doing what I’m doing right now with my community. Helping others not only at a school I work in all my community in Allston/Brighton. Working with them, see what the families needs, and helping that families, or give it to them the resource they need for the family.

Deborah: When is your college going to be finished? 

Milsy: In two more years.

Deborah: What kind of degree will you have at the end of the two years? 

Milsy: In two years I will be a teacher assistant or a paraprofessional. 

Deborah: What does it mean to be a paraprofessional? 

Milsy: Paraprofessional—what they do is to work with the teacher to work inside the class. Helping the teacher. All the time we have to work with the kids. Go with them to recess and stay there with them in the class, learning with them, teaching them with the teachers, and helping the teacher with everything they need to helping the kids to learning.

Road to Citizenship/25:23
Deborah: Sounds good. Have you become a citizen yet?

Milsy: This is my next step. Little by little. Right now I taking the class with a wonderful woman. She’s helping me in the process of learning with her every week I have to go with her learning. Oh my gosh. That is amazing. And to be ready for next year. 

Deborah: There’ll be an exam in 2023?

Milsy: In two more months. 

Deborah: Okay. 

Milsy: Yes. 

Deborah: You’ll be ready. Thank you so much, Milsy for this interview. It’s been great talking to you. 

Milsy: Thank you for inviting me.

Wrapping Up/26:00

Fiercely independent and inner-directed, Milsy has pursued her dreams with great determination and patience. Once she obtained her resident card, she was able to reconnect with her family in her native Dominican Republic and is now studying for her citizenship exam in 2023. 
      Ever grateful to the people who helped her adjust to her life in the United States, Milsy wants to give back to her community. The childcare services for the evening classes at the ESOL program for adult learners enable students to bring their children to school while Milsy cares for them. The Gardner Pilot Academy is so happy to have this education professional on board as an essential staff member. 


Guest Introduction
Coming to the States
Serving the Immigrant Community
Learning English
Odd Jobs to Make Ends Meet
Family Comes First
Pain of Leaving Family Behind in Dominican Republic
Finally Getting a Resident Card
Getting Close to the Dream Job
Living with Plants
Obstacle of the Missing Documents
Future Dreams
Advice
Successes
Road to Citizenship
Wrapping Up